Tuesday, July 18, 2006

The 12 steps of Chiliheads Anonymous

These are the Twelve Steps of Chiliheads Anonymous.

1. We admitted we were powerless over chili peppers — and that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity; or at least make it stop burning!

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Dave DeWitt as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of our hot sauce fridge.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being that we really did like the taste of scotch bonnets.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all the Tobasco from restaurant tables everywhere and replace it with REAL hot sauce.

7. Humbly asked Him to not remove our seeds.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to try even harder in the future to turn them all into chiliheads.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would keep them from really enjoying the burn.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were deficient promptly bought another bottle of hot sauce.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with capsaicin, as we understood it, praying only for knowledge of the fact that there are only 15,000,000 SHUS in pure cap and the power to carry that message to the rest of the world.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of eating peppers, we tried to carry this message to chiliheads, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

1 comment:

FTS said...

"Hello, my name is FTS, and I'm a Chilihead."